Hi, I’m Ben.
Body-first, relationally honest, irreverently sacred.
I draw from Buddhist contemplative psychology, somatic intelligence, parts work, understanding your life force energy, and spiritual intuitive wisdom to help you cut through the people-pleasing, the programming, and the performance — and make contact with what's actually alive in you. I bring a neurocomplexity-informed lens (ADHD and AuDHD) and a liberation-oriented perspective, because healing isn't about optimizing yourself for a broken system.
This isn't self-improvement. It's dismantling what was never yours so you can build from your own ground — reconnecting to authentic purpose, vitality, and the kind of direction that comes from the inside out.
If you're in a midlife turning point, collapsing under the weight of masking and obligation, or sensing that something deeper is trying to move through your life, I can help.
The terrain I know firsthand
Midlife — The dismantling of an identity that no longer fits, and the rebuilding from the ground up
Burnout — The discovery that the problem was never about capacity; it was pretending to be someone else.
ADHD, late-recognized — and the long exhaustion of faking normal (masking) before understanding why everything felt harder than it should
Career reinvention — leaving a stable identity in midlife to build something more authentic
Men and Masculinity — Releasing scripts about what a man should be and discovering what’s actually feels true.
Fatherhood — I’m a father of two boys, and learning how parenthood remakes identity, marriage, and understanding of the fathers who came before.
Growing up with an alcoholic father — the hypervigilance, the over-functioning, learning to read a room before you could read a book and the codependence and people pleasing that results.
A long marriage — the real work of staying: renegotiating inside a partnership as you both people
Losing parents — my father, my mother-in-law; I know grief as terrain, not theory
Money — money trauma carried into adulthood, and digging deep into wealth, sufficency and scarcity.
Contemplative practice — Understanding techniques as a source of self understanding and growth, not just to be less reactive and more acceptable to others.
Intuitive perception — I work with more than what’s said out loud: a trained, grounded attunement to what’s moving underneath — in your body, your energy, and the parts of you that haven’t found words yet
Sexuality, kink, power dynamics - Exploring desire as the language of the soul and transgression as a practice of liberation.
Who I tend to work with
You might be the one in midlife who holds everything together for everyone else. A caretaker or a people-pleaser, running on obligation instead of desire. A perfectionist who learned early that being good was safer than being real. Late-diagnosed with ADHD, unpacking a lifetime of masking.
Highly sensitive, and good at hiding it. An adult child of an alcoholic who could read a room before you could read. A parent or partner performing a role instead of living a life. A burned-out helper — therapist, healer, teacher, nurse — giving everyone else what you can't give yourself.
Someone whose life is coming apart loudly, and who's done pretending otherwise. Someone who did everything right and feels nothing. Someone who senses something deeper trying to move.
Or someone who's done therapy before and is still looking for something that actually reaches them.
What people come here wanting is usually simpler than it sounds: to stop performing. To know what they actually want, and to believe wanting is allowed. To feel something again — anger, grief, desire, any of it — instead of managing everything from a safe distance. To be able to disappoint someone and survive it. To stop bracing. To find work and relationships that don't require a costume. And underneath all of it, the thing almost nobody says out loud: to be loved as they actually are, not as the version they've been maintaining.
Qualifications
*Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), BC Association of Clinical Counsellors
*M.A., Clinical Counselling and Buddhist Psychology — Naropa University
*Over a decade of clinical experience across private practice and clinical settings
*Certified Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS)
*ADHD-Certified Clinical Services Provider (ADHD-CCSP)
*Life Transitions Specialist Certificate
*Trauma of Money Certified Practitioner
*Inner MBA conscious-leadership certificate (Sounds True)
*Integrative Sex and Couples Certification
*From Pain to Pleasure: Erotic Recovery in Trauma Healing